How do we record and share my parents' funeral wishes?
My parents have clear ideas about their funerals but nothing is written down. Where should these wishes be recorded so we can find and follow them later?
✓ Accepted answer
You should record your parents' funeral wishes in a clearly labeled, physical document stored in their personal files, such as a safe or envelope marked "Funeral Instructions," and digital copies backed up to a secure cloud drive accessible by your designated emergency contact.
- Create a written letter of intent: Draft a simple letter detailing specific preferences for burial versus cremation, casket choice, service type, and any religious rites. This serves as their primary directive to the family.
- Consult with a funeral director: Schedule a pre-need appointment with a local funeral home to have their wishes documented in their internal records. While this does not lock in prices, it ensures their immediate needs are known if a death occurs unexpectedly.
- Coordinate with legal documents: Mention their funeral preferences in their will or a living will. Although not always legally binding, a will that references a separate funeral directive gives your executor clear instructions on where to find the details.
- Store copies in multiple locations: Keep one hard copy in your home and one in your parents' residence. Provide a copy to their primary care physician or a trusted lawyer, as medical professionals often coordinate with family first during critical moments.
- Discuss costs and funding: Note any prepaid funeral plans or insurance policies that cover these wishes. The National Funeral Directors Association suggests that prepaid plans can protect against inflation, but ensure the policy is up-to-date with current preferences.
- Update regularly: Revisit these wishes every two to three years or after major life changes to ensure they remain accurate and reflect your parents' current views.
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